Moving Into Hope

Romans 5:1-5
KJV

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

I set out today to work on The Worth Project, but I was detoured to the path of Hope.  In part, I'm sure, because it is my word for the year. Or to be exact, the word "hopeful". In looking back at my word choice, I realize it was instinctive, but as I began to look into the scriptures today about hope, I can apply divine intervention as well. 

Initially, I was led to Romans 5:5 - hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Hope doesn't shame us. Oh, how that warmed my heart. But then something told me to go see where did the hope come from?  

Well. That would be tribulation. I used the KJV today because of how often I have heard (you, too, I'm sure) the big, bad, scary word "tribulation". But the original Greek word means "pressure", and that sounds less scary and more real to explain things in my life. 

We all have pressure(s). Whether it's a job, family, relationships, finances - life comes with pressures. Sometimes they can really make us feel like we are suffocating. Out of control. Burdened. Scared. You can go ahead and add your own feelings here. 

But the thing is, pressure, when faced and walked through (I've had to crawl here and there) brings patience (to have fortitude, persevere). Which gives us the experience (proof) that we can actually get through the pressure! 

And so then hope is created. Hope created by the perseverant experience of pressure. Hope is not really possible without the pressure. Hope is the result of of it! And once it is created, the pressure(s) can be more easily tolerated. It is a process (oh, isn't everything!). But if we allow the process (we're going to experience pressure anyway) and let it create hope in us - we can rejoice and be glad in the love and glory of God without shame. If you're reading this, you're human and you have pressure(s) you are dealing with - go ahead and persevere the experience and move into hope! 

The Worth Project Part Two

Genesis 1:27
New Century Version

So God created human beings in His image. In the image of God He created them. He created them male and female.

It has not escaped me that Part Two of this Worth Project has been delayed. This has been for a few reasons, but the one I want to mention is my own struggle with worth and the way life seems to work. As I set out to tackle this topic, I found myself in a position of feeling rejected and betrayed by people I didn't expect it from. This type of thing taps directly on that worth part of me. I have done my best to navigate through that experience and remind myself of what worth is, and what it is not. And I am reminded of why I started The Worth Project in the first place.

And that brings me to the very, very beginning. The scripture referenced is pretty straightforward -  we were created in the image (or resemblance) of God himself. This goes much deeper, I suspect, than what I could cover in this post, but the little I can grasp of this concept brings a confidence in the worth He places on you and me. 

This is where worth originates. From the Creator. He created our worth. This is not a feeling, it's a fact. Let this knowledge filter into your heart and soul.

The Worth Project Part One

Matthew 10:29-31
New Century Version

Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can die without your Father's knowing it. God even knows how many hairs are on your head. So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows.

How far removed has humankind come from these words of Jesus. Yet one of the basic human needs is to feel our own worth! I would say it is a basic human necessity to know our worth. 

There are so many mixed messages coming at us from birth. By the time we reach adulthood and awareness that we are lacking worth, we are plunged into either accepting our lack as truth (and thereby just coping) or a journey of healing. Both options are painful, but only one propels us to peace and confidence.

The goal of this project is to uncover what the meaning of human worth is, what it looks like, maybe even sounds like. Where does it come from? How do we find it?

Attach Yourself

 Matthew 14:34-36
The Message

On return, they beached the boat at Gennesaret.  When the people got wind that he was back, they sent out word through the neighborhood and rounded up all the sick, who asked for permission to touch the edge of his coat.  And whoever touched him was healed.

Imagine being there.  At a time before medicine and science, as we know it, existed. Today we have very little need of miraculous physical healing, due to the fact that we can go to the local hospital or doctor's office and be prescribed medicine, or have a surgery to fix whatever ailment we might have. Certainly, there are diseases where there are still no known cures - and one does need a miraculous touch from God. But generally speaking, modern medicine has a cure for most things. I feel compelled to mention that in a lot of cases, our modern diseases and ailments are self-imposed due to lifestyles, etc.  (please do not take this as judgment, but rather as basic fact - and food for thought.) And while I do believe that God can "heal" all of these things, I again present the idea that we don't really need Him to.

After having the privilege of going to Israel and being on the Sea of Galilee, visiting these towns that Jesus was in - as I read this passage, I could imagine being there.  In a time before our  modern age, I understood why the crowds would come when they heard that Jesus could heal their sickness and disease. The sick and diseased must have had very few options. There was no pill to take, no disability payments to sustain them - they were put by the wayside to just exist. He was their only hope, their only option. They believed even to the extent that if they could just touch the "edge of his coat" they would be healed. 

With all of the above swirling around in my head, the word "touch" jumped out at me. The original Greek word means "to attach oneself to".  Now, "touch" is not just jumping out of the Word, it's shouting at me - in the still, small voice of God. 

Today, while we may be able to enjoy the modern convenience of science and medicine, we seem to face more and more of the mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds of life. Yes, there are pills to be taken that can help, and professionals that can help guide us, but they cannot erase the wound, the past abuses and the consequences of them. We still need the Healer. Just like those people in Gennesaret heard that He was back, He's here. He's where you are. He has healing for you. And just like those, you can reach out and touch Him. But it is not a one and done thing. Attach yourself to Him. Hold onto Him. Let Him peel back the layers of hurt and disappointment. He's a gentle, loving physician, and you can trust Him with the healing process.

A Psalm for Today

Psalm 23:1 revisited

The Lord is my Shepherd
In my weakness I turn
To find my way to His side
The voices of failure follow
My path they know so well
I've been here before, many times
Those voices are loud
They speak of my fears
They tell of my flaws
But I know the way, the way to His side
His voice becomes louder
In a still small sound
Other voices disappear
My heart again knows
I shall not want

J-Y-O Spells Joy

 Matthew 22:36-40

He said, “Teacher, which command in the law is the most important?”  Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: Love your neighbor the same as you love yourself. All of the law and the writings of the prophets take their meaning from these two commands.”

Anyone remember this old Sunday School song?

                                    J-O-Y, J-O-Y,
                                    this is how we sing
                                    Jesus first,
                                    yourself last,
                                    and others in-between

I find it interesting and a little scary that a simple little child's song, seemingly so innocent and lovely, can be so anti-scriptural.  I'm afraid that the church world has too easily skimmed through the scriptures above, focusing only on the parts that showcased its religion.  This gives some explanation as to why we now have a whole generation of people talking about emotional, mental and spiritual health. 

You can see, if you slow it down a little, the scripture clearly indicates that we should love ourselves before we love our neighbor.  In fact, I would suggest that it is imperative!  (it is a commandment, after all)  And yet, generations of children have been taught to put themselves last and to count themselves unworthy.  This goes against scriptural commandments!  God has made us in His own image, fearfully and wonderfully - I think He has expected that children are taught this, that they should have that sense of worth instilled into them, that they should know how to love themselves - so that they know how to love their neighbor. 

Clearly, God's system and commands have been broken by us humans, and our emotion, mental and spiritual health has suffered as a result.  We need to teach our children their worth - to us, to God.  This is how they learn to love themselves and are able to see the worth and value in someone else. 

If one is an adult and you have never seen your worth and value - it is not too late.  God wants to show you who you are to Him.  He sees you and He loves you.  

Love Jesus.  Love Yourself.  Love Others.  ❤ 

The Empty Nest

It started out innocently enough. I was 20 years old with an unmistakable urge to have a baby. I had married the love of my life just a few months before and moved to Germany to live as a military wife. I found myself far away from family and familiar places and surrounded by other young military couples and families. All with young children and babies – and more babies on the way. This, no doubt, propelled me into motherhood sooner than I might have been otherwise.

It was really all working out how I wanted it to, anyway. My dream as a newly minted young adult was to get married and have a couple of babies. So, it all seemed very natural and the way it was supposed to be.

Of course, as a lot of young mothers, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. The pain of childbirth is literally the easiest part. The tiny little human boy that came home with me from the hospital immediately took over my heart and soul. All he did was sleep and eat at first. I spent a lot of time just looking at him. I thought how in the world did I get the most perfect baby? Then the lack of sleep started to take over. I worried for months about how I was going to get this little bundle of cuteness to sleep through the night! I finally had to let him cry it out, and that was that.

Fast forward a couple of years and there was another little tiny human boy in the mix. Even though I had some experience now, I was still a very young adult with very little life experience. So, another baby was included as no big deal. Been there, done that. However, this one had the most exciting habit of crying every night for hours – otherwise known as colic. Life was certainly not “no big deal.” Since my husband was preparing to exit the military, we were staying at my parent’s house during this time. And my mother did what mothers do – she would take turns rocking the screaming baby at night, then get up and go to her full-time day job.

The handful of years that I had two babies/toddlers seemed longer at the time than they do in retrospect. Those were the days of very little adult conversation and the time period where my sense of identity was fully immersed into my children. I no longer was a young woman trying to figure out her life. I was mommy. Period.

The years through childhood, pre-teen, and teenager start to run together. The school supply shopping, keeping them in jeans and shoes, and managing their after-school snacks seemed like it would go on forever. Oh, there is a lot more to the story than just those things. But they were all every day, normal happenings in the lives of two growing boys. Some moments or days seemed extra hard or extra exciting at the time, but hind-sight has mellowed it all out into a pretty even keeled life.

One day I turned around and my boys were grown and gone.  Overnight, I was 43 with no kids in their bedrooms to check on. I could turn the lights off in their old bedrooms, but there was no switch to turn off my motherhood. How does that happen? And why is there no way to prepare for this?

Seven years later I am still asking these questions. I have still not found the switch for motherhood. I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. I still don’t feel prepared for the emptiness of my little nest. I miss my boys so deeply I can’t really truly express it. Now there are daughters-in-law and grandkids that I’m missing.

I am coming to this conclusion. As a mother I will always be thinking about my children and their families. They are my heart. Yes, I need to reclaim my “identity” in one sense, but in another I don’t want to change who I am. I am a mother; a blessed, proud mother of two beautiful adult men who have given me two beautiful daughters - and the cherry on top grandbabies. Yes, I cry because I miss them, but they are just tears of a mother’s love. My nest is empty, but my heart is fuller than ever.